


(Don’t) Forgive and Forget

by TheFinalOtp



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Civil War Team Iron Man, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Me? Projecting my own trauma?, Not A Fix-It, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, it’s more likely than you think, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFinalOtp/pseuds/TheFinalOtp
Summary: How Tony Stark moves on.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 153





	(Don’t) Forgive and Forget

He didn't say it often - he didn't say it at all, but Tony Stark was terrified all the time. 

His life used to be normal, before. Yes, he was in the top one percent, he was smarter than everyone he encountered - but that wasn't as abnormal as what his life would become later. He lost his parents, he lost Jarvis and Ana, he got backstabbed by some people and it hurt - but that was normal, too. Every single person on this planet had a tragic backstory. 

But then, everything that happened to him since the day he stepped foot in Afghanistan was just so... abnormal. Hell, every single one of these events - Afghanistan, Iron Man, Killian, Avengers and their fallout - would be enough to make his autobiography a best seller. Yet, life kept piling and piling all these on him. Each event left a mark on him, metaphorically and literally. 

Now, he was just a mess of a man littered with scars. 

Tony Stark couldn't sit or stand if all the entrances weren't in his sight. Tony Stark carried an armor inside his body. Tony Stark didn't allow anyone he didn't trust to be in his living quarters or lab, not even maids or janitors. Tony Stark didn't let anyone touch his neck or chest - his teammates had a habit of stabbing him with needles, choking him or slamming shields into his arc reactor. Tony Stark had PTSD the size of Australia. 

He was aware that he couldn't overcome all that, not with the little time he had left in his limited lifetime. He was surprised he had survived till that point, to be honest. So he changed his perspective. 

(When Tony was six, his father had let him in the lab - a rare occasion, maybe he had tied a big deal and gotten in a good mood, gotten generous. Tony was trying to make a piece of machinery work, but he couldn't. Seeing his frustration, Howard had approached and showed him a different solution. "Trying twice may bring success, but if you keep pushing when it's not working, that's the stubbornness of a fool," he had said as the machine had rumbled into life.)

He started to think of his trauma responses as reminders to preserve himself. He wouldn't let people close because he had already done that multiple times and it had blown up in his face - Ty, Sunset, Stane, Rogers. He had enough people around him. He had a family in Pepper and Happy and Rhodey.

Most importantly, he learned that he didn't need to forgive and forget in order to move on.

(He had opened up to Harley Keener of all people one day. Maybe it was because he knew that the boy's opinion of him wouldn't change. Maybe it was because he wasn't a lover like Pepper, a kid like Peter, a brother like Rhodey - he was simply Tony's friend, and Tony needed that, too. "Don't believe that bullshit about what you should do to heal," his voice had said over the speakers. "How are you going to keep yourself from makin' the same mistake if you just let it fade away? You can't. You hold on to your anger, because anger is the part of your brain that loves you. It's there because it knows you didn't deserve the shit that happened to you. So you live your anger, you learn to be once burned twice shy, and then you move on. You can, if you want to - but you don't need to forgive anyone. That's just... that's just bull.")

He kept living his best life, making sure that his business flourished, loving his friends and family, donating more money than ever to those in need. He made love to Pepper every night, he goofed around with Rhodey, he mentored Peter. 

He kept taking Harley's advice to heart, too. He didn’t pretend what happened didn’t brake him. He just put the pieces back together as much as he could, but he didn’t forget who shattered him in the first place. 

Tony Stark didn't have to forgive those who betrayed him to move on.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone experiences and processes trauma differently. I wrote about my opinion of how Tony’s experience would go through, but if you disagree, that’s totally cool and feel free to discuss it w me on the comments :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Leave kudos and comments if you did, it would make a gal really happy.


End file.
